The Staring Contest
by Evil Icing
Summary: Koto vs. Kurama! "Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares also into you." –Friedrich Nietzsche


**A/N: Yu Yu Hakusho? I don't own it. Nietzche's quote? I don't own it. Moving on! I always found Koto's reaction to Yoko Kurama hilarious in the anime, but I always found it strange how she got over it so quickly and never really commented about him anymore after that. Yes, I look into things way too much.**

**Lots of description here, not as much dialogue. You have been warned! Enjoy!**

* * *

**The Staring Contest**

_**"Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."**_

_**-Friedrich Nietzsche**_

* * *

Being the official, and not to mention cutest, referee of the Dark Tournament, Koto had seen many things in her time. Blood, gore, torture, dismemberment, decapitation… she had witnessed it all. These things didn't bother her in the least; if anything, she enjoyed watching the many death matches she had witnessed. She was a professional, and an idol for both demons and humans alike.

So then, why… _why_ did that match bother her so? Why couldn't she stop thinking about it… about _him_?

The birth of Yoko Kurama in the ring had, more than anything, surprised her. The last thing she expected to see when Ura Urashima's barrier had been destroyed was a beautiful, silver-haired fox demon standing as the victor. Her confusion then quickly turned to fascination as she marveled at the figure; then, more confusion as she found out that this creature was none other than Team Urameshi's pretty boy Kurama.

Koto was a professional. She was a referee first and foremost, so she would have to be an admirer second. While she managed to somehow control her excitement for the rest of the day's matches, Yoko still haunted her thoughts, although he could no longer be seen. He was gone. Disappeared inside the redheaded fighter everyone knew as Kurama.

Why had he gone? Koto very much wanted to see him again. She wasn't sure if he would make any more surprise appearances in the coming matches, but she had her fingers crossed that he would. She _had_ to see him again.

She found herself wandering the hallways of the stadium, a hard day's work completed. Her ears wiggled in agreement as she yawned, stretching her limbs. The crowds were dwindling down, yet many avid fans still stopped her, asking for autographs and pictures and her opinions on the previous fights. Although she enjoyed the attention, she found that even idle chatter with the fans couldn't quite distract her from the many thoughts of a certain fox demon.

She groaned, pushing through the demons around her as she hurried off. She couldn't take this. She had to see him, she had to _feel_ his aura. Where was he…? She wanted to hunt him down like the fox he was.

Koto ignored any more shouts of her names as she continued walking through the stadium. She was on a mission. She wondered if Team Urameshi was still here; perhaps she would find them in the locker rooms. Maybe she could talk with them, get their thoughts on Kurama's transformation. Maybe if she could see them, she could clear her mind and be free. They had seen it just as plainly as she did, and maybe Kurama himself would even give his thoughts on the matter. She always found the calm fighter to be approachable, after all. He seemed like a genuinely nice guy outside of the ring. Besides, what kind of a nice guy could turn down an interview from the famous _Koto_?

Her heart skipped a beat when she suddenly spotted them in the distance. Apparently they were just leaving the locker rooms as she approached. The group was always noisy, mostly thanks to Yusuke and Kuwabara. She watched with amusement as Yusuke let out a hearty laugh, slapping Kurama hard on the back; the redhead slightly winced from Yusuke's powerful blow, probably still sore from the day's fights. A slight smile crossed his face as he recovered, undoubtedly amused by the friends around him. His expression was delicate and gentle as he watched them absently, yet something in his eyes showed that he was also scrutinizing and listening carefully. This seemed typical of Kurama, who was always analyzing and planning things that no one else even noticed. His innocent, almost feminine features often overshadowed his cunning personality and toughness. Underestimating him almost surely guaranteed him to be a formidable, undefeatable opponent. She had witnessed his strength several times now.

Koto blinked. It was strange; how in the world could this be the same demon she saw earlier, the fierce fox demon whose very presence actually made her tremble? She found it so hard to believe as she gazed upon Kurama's human form. Although he was undeniably handsome—even pretty—Koto found him to lack the features that made her so attracted to the silver-haired fox. Maybe she was biased in her observation, but she decided that Kurama was incomplete in his beauty as a human because he lacked the long, luscious tail and silky ears that Yoko Kurama had. She struggled to resist the urge to giggle imagining Kurama with a tail and a pair of ears.

Suddenly, she saw the redhead look her way. No, wait, not in her general direction… he was looking _at her. _His calculating green eyes were looking directly into her own eyes. He was looking at her so intensely that he appeared to have abandoned his companions' conversations completely. Had he read her mind…? Did he somehow sense that she was imagining him with a tail and ears? Oh my god, he was going to kill her. Koto felt beads of sweat slowly start to form in her nervousness.

Their stare-down continued for what felt like _hours_ to Koto. She bit her lip nervously, her sharp fangs clamped down into her skin. For a minute she thought she began to taste blood as she stood there, frozen, in his gaze. As she gazed back, she noticed that his expression was blank. It wasn't like he was even glaring at her or threatening her…he was simply studying her, and that was what scared her the most. Koto had seen him study his opponents just like this many times before; she knew what this look meant.

Even this human form of Kurama apparently had somewhat of an effect on her. She hated herself. Never in her life had she felt so weak or helpless. What was she going to do?! If she blinked, he would win. If she looked away, he would win. If she ran away screaming and crying, he would win. It was more apparent now than ever, Kurama was a fierce opponent, apparently even in staring contests. In Koto's mind, however, this was more than just a staring contest. This was life or _death_.

Still frozen in her spot, she focused on her opponent's eyes. As she got lost in them she noticed that she could see the same intensity in these emerald eyes as she did in the golden eyes of Yoko Kurama. In his fight with Ura Urashima, the fox demon had circled the stadium with his golden gaze before he returned to Shuichi Minamino, Koto remembered this. She was fairly certain that he had even sent a glance in her direction as she commentated the strange fight…or maybe it was just wishful thinking. Either way, she remembered the look in Yoko Kurama's eyes. And this was the same look that Kurama was giving her now. The same neutral coldness, yet fiery with cognition.

That was when it hit her, hard, like a ton of bricks. Kurama and "Yoko Kurama" were…the same. It wasn't just a shadow of the redhead that happened to escape. They were one in the same. Although they were so different, she realized that this really was _him_, just in a different form. She wasn't sure how it was possible, but a part of Yoko Kurama was still there, she just hadn't noticed. Her dreamy fox demon was right there.

She was now the hunted one, fox preying on fox. Although she was standing in the middle of a wide hallway, she was cornered by him. He was incredibly dangerous. Would Yoko Kurama come out and devour her, feed her to his plants? Would he punish her for ever thinking she had a chance at being near him?

What happened next surprised her, as she saw Kurama's eyes soften. His lips almost formed into a thin smile as he began to walk towards her. Koto's mouth opened involuntarily; she may have even let out a squeak. He was coming towards _her_. Closer, and closer, and closer… her tail swished behind her in tense anticipation as she watched his tall frame begin to tower over her. Did she want him to approach her, or didn't she? Why was she suddenly so pathetic and paralyzed and indecisive?

His scent lingered as he suddenly curved slightly and walked around her instead of colliding into her. He was so close as he walked past her that she even felt a strand of his long hair tickle her cheek; he was so close, but now he was behind her and out of her sight. Their fierce battle had ended, and she had been rejected as his opponent. She wasn't sure what just happened, but she knew that he had probably won regardless. He always did.

"If you gaze into the abyss," Kurama softly spoke from behind her, making her ears twitch, "the abyss gazes also into you."

By the time Koto had composed herself and forced her legs to turn around, he was already far from her reach. She spotted the bright red of his hair through the crowd, but he was too far for her to catch up. Had he done this on purpose? He had toyed with her, intimidated her…all for what? For him to walk away like a winner who doesn't want his prize?

Yoko Kurama had defeated her more than he would ever know; never again would she venture into the domain of the fox demon. Never again would she try to understand what he was thinking. She had only succeeded in showing him _everything_ in her helplessness. He had read her like an open book.

"Hey, look, it's Koto! Can I get an autograph, please?!"

A large demon suddenly blocked Koto's path of vision.

"Uhhh…what?" she muttered as she desperately tried to look around him. "Sorry, I'm a little busy here…"

"Koto! Koto! Check it out, guys! Let's get a picture!"

"Koto!"

Koto growled as her adoring fans began to huddle around her, surrounding her like a barrier.

Koto was a professional. On the inside of a ring is where she belonged… but not as a fighter, such as Kurama. Was that what he was trying to tell her? He didn't want to defeat her as an opponent… he simply wanted to warn her to stay away from his mysterious demon side?

She smiled inwardly. Maybe he was right. She wasn't a fighter. She was stronger than Juri, of course, but that was due to loads of experience and knowledge of the Dark Tournament. After all, it was Koto's life and every fiber of her being.

She had a mission, a purpose. She had fans and her fame; what good would come of chasing after a god such as Yoko Kurama? Kurama, ever the wise sage, knew this.

"Alright," she chirped, "who's next?"

Koto continued to proudly sign autographs for her fans, a silly grin returning to her face.

She was certain that she would see him again, the silver fox demon. He would grace the Dark Tournament again with his presence; yet from now on, Koto decided she would simply admire him from a far distance. Of course, nowhere in the stadium was truly _safe_ once the matches started… but at least watching him from afar was a lot safer than placing your very soul into his direct eyesight.

Koto would never forget him.


End file.
